1. This time between high school and college is a lot of things. It's exciting, it's scary, it's sad, and it's boring. You get to embark on a new adventure. You aren't sure what to expect. You miss your old routine. Your friends have gone new directions and you feel like you have nothing to do. All of these things, and anything else you're feeling is valid, and meant to be embraced. My experience with high school was a rocky one, and as such, I was anticipating feeling nothing but relief at high school ending and excitement for college to begin. However, as you can likely guess, this was not the case. I felt an entire spectrum of emotions in the interim period between the two academic experiences, and I was initially alienated by it. I tried to push these unanticipated emotions away, only to realize that this method wouldn't work. You can't push them away forever, so allow yourself to feel what you need to feel right now. Because I finally accepted these feelings of nostalgia for high school and fear for college, I was able to work through them and let them run their course, allowing myself to begin university life with a clean emotional palate. This is a dynamic time, unlike any other, and as such, it elicits emotions unlike any other. Don't sell yourself short by picking and choosing your feelings-- let them be present, and let yourself learn from them.
2. So you've gone to orientation, and you're ready to register for classes. (Also, sidenote: may your orientation be infinitely better than mine. I was sick with tonsillitis, I unknowingly registered for the same session as an enemy of mine, and I took my student ID photo with smeared makeup from the previous night. At one point, I ended up hiding from said enemy in a potted fern, and at another point ended up with a bloody nose and fainting spells in the middle of the night. But, don't worry, your experience with orientation will be great! *Insert nervous laughter here.*) Back to the point: registering for classes. Please, please, please choose classes that you're actually interested in! Don't base your schedule off of your friends' schedules. Sure it can be nice to take some gen-eds with comrades, or maybe a non-descript class like yoga or ballet barre, but by all means, don't base your degree off of your buddies' degrees. In multiple cases, peers of mine have chosen their major because it was what their friends were majoring in. This is so stupid. Not only is it completely unoriginal and a lazy copout of unique thought, it's logistically idiotic. Yeah right now it might seem okay to be majoring in something you hate, because your friends are there and they make it bearable! But what happens in five or so years when you graduate, you and your friends go separate ways, and you're stuck with a career that you hate? Most likely you won't be working for the same company as your friends are, and if they were the only reason you majored in what you did, you're a sitting duck. (Or toast, or screwed, or downstream without a paddle, or whatever phrase for doomed that you prefer.) Selecting courses that I'm genuinely interested in has benefitted me in a few ways. 1. I have unique insight to contribute to conversations. With an individual course load, comes the ability to make individual input! As the only one of my friends majoring in History and Writing and Rhetoric, I'm able to discuss things relating to this field that my friends aren't. Just like they're able to discuss things pertaining to Anthropology, Sociology, Biology, Medicine, Graphic Design, etc, etc, etc that I'm unable to. 2. Being alone in classes has forced me to meet new people. Without the crutch of pre-existing friendships, I've had to reach out to those around me, and as a result, I've formed new relationships, both platonic and romantic, that I really value. If nothing in this section has inspired you to take an original course load, thing of it this way: you're paying an arm and a leg to attend a university, and you might as well get your money's worth by taking classes that interest you. (Still not inspired? Listen to "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac. If this doesn't help, you're beyond help and please stop reading my blog because you disgust me.)
3. Go to college for an education. Yes, extracurriculars are fun and important, but don't make them your reason for attending a university. Put your classes first and foremost, and allow social life to follow in suit. In regard to the socialization, I highly recommend balancing it between on campus and off campus. I think that if you spend too much time on campus, you get lost in the "college bubble" and sell yourself short of the experiences matriculated in "the real world." On the contrary, I feel like if you spend all your time off campus, you miss out on the quintessential vibe that college and only college offers. Find a balance that works for you, and don't feel like you need to subscribe to just one motif or lifestyle. Take bits and pieces from different college experiences and incorporate them into yourself, avoiding the temptation to put yourself in a box. Also sidenote: I didn't do a sorority, and was completely fine and happy with that decision. It's extremely easy to find friends, activities, social edification, and a niche without taking part in Greek life. That being said, I know people who have really melded well with rushing, so don't rule it out just because I think it's dumb. (As if anything I say here will sway you one way or another...who am I kidding, I'm only that powerful in my mind.)
4. Do the reading! OMG do the reading! You'll meet plenty of people who don't read the assigned chapters, let alone even purchase the textbook-- don't listen to their proselyting!!! Not only will you be able to perform fabulously in class by supplementing lectures with back story from your books, you'll be able to incorporate knowledge from your books into everyday conversation! Yay for smart people and smart words! (An intentionally dumb sentence, fear not.) If nothing else, bring your books to a coffee shop, put in earphones, talk to no one, and look pretentious AF while perusing your linguistics manual. It's fun, I promise.
5. Money, Money, Money! This trio of words isn't just the refrain of an ABBA song, it's a real-life issue for collegiates! College is extremely expensive, and it most likely always will be. But, you can shave off some of that expense by seeking financial aid. Why pay more than you have to? (Right now you're remembering those FAFSA pamphlets given to you by your high school counselor. You know the ones. Their covers featured a group of alleged teens who were actually thirty year old washed up actors and actresses, all wearing ill-fitting bootcut jeans and generic t shirts, with conversation bubbles that read things like, "Hey guys, have you applied for FAFSA yet? It's easy and a great way to save money!" DON'T DENY THAT YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!) But really, scholarships/financial aid is awesome. It's available, and yeah, it's work to apply for, but worth it. Don't be ashamed of seeking assistance, be proud of your prowess in writing personal statements. (My personal statement was basically, "Hi, I'm Samantha, please give me money.")
6. Stay organized! There's a lot going on in college. I've successfully been a full-time student while also working 30 hour work-weeks, and I've been able to do this thanks to organization. Many others are in the same situation as I, often working much more and taking much harder classes than me. They will likely also tell you that organization is key. Listen to us. Liiiiiiiisten to us! Get organized, via whatever method works for you. I tried the traditional bulky planner method, as well as the phone calendar method, but neither worked for me. I never remembered/wanted to haul around a heavy planner and my love/hate relationship with my phone made the technology method out of the question. What's worked for me is to use a Microsoft Word document to plan my week. I created a graphic organizer with textboxes and tables to hold all my week's information, customizing it to the things I had going on. I'd print one out at the beginning of the week, and then fill in the information as my week progressed.
7. Make wise decisions. Unfortunately, we live in a world where despite all efforts to be safe, you can still be harmed. However, dangerous situations can largely be avoided by making considerate choices. Give yourself every advantage to be safe. 1. Don't consume things that you haven't opened yourself. Drink and eat only out of sealed packages that you have personally opened. Don't dip into communal bowls. Take Lorelai Gilmore's advice, and be the snack-refiller, allowing you to open the sealed package, grab a handful, and then dump the rest into the nasty free-for-all container. Basically, as Ariana says, attend parties with the mindset that someone is trying to poison you, and be conscious of any way that someone could do that. 2. Once you've gotten your self-opened rations, keep them safe by guarding them. Don't set your drink down, and if you do, don't pick it up-- get a new one. Also: keep your hand over the top of it to protect it from getting tainted. 3. Bring friends with you to events. Obviously there will be times where you go to things alone-- something not only necessary, but also exciting, as it helps you become independent and aware of yourself. However, when possible, attend things in a duo or group. At the very least, text a friend or parent to let them know your whereabouts. Should anything suspicious arise, they know where to look for you. 4. Try to schedule your classes in daylight hours. Be especially mindful of this guideline in regard to winter hours when it gets dark earlier. If you do take night classes, be safe about it. Pay to park in a closer lot than your usual one, carry pepper spray with you, take a well-lit and populated route even if it means it's a longer one than normal, and don't hesitate to request campus security officers to accompany you to your destination. 5. Drinking and drugs are dangerous, and I encourage you strongly to minimize use of them, especially considering you're in a time of life when it's integral for your brain to function highly and wholly.
8. College involves a lot of walking! Campuses are often spread apart, and taking the shuttle is a waste of time. Unless you're pulling the weight of seven thousand oxen, you can easily walk faster than it moves, and it's extremely unreliable, often leaving you stranded in the glaring desert heat, while a strange man mutters Madonna lyrics next to you. (Personal anecdote available upon request.) As such, resign yourself to a life of walking, and invest in a good backpack, good shoes, and good jacket! As far as backpacks go, look for one with more than sufficient back and shoulder support and plenty of storage. I really like my North Face one-- I find that it's comfortable even when loaded with the weight of my textbook library, and easily fits any supplies that I need. As far as things to pack in it, I recommend a waterbottle, some energizing and non-persihable snacks, headphones and iPod, pens and pencils, highlighters, touch-screen compatible gloves, an umbrella, lotion, hand-sanitizer, chapstick, and some personal reading material. In regard to shoes, invest in some for various weather conditions! For dry climate days, I like these Frye flats or these Chaco sandals. For wet conditions, I like these Sorel boots. Choose something that's easy to clean, long-lasting, and obviously comfortable. And finally, in regard to jackets, select a waterproof option that easily folds up to store in your backpack. I have this North Face one, and have found the sole drawback to be that my boyfriend mocks me for not choosing a more obscure brand. (The only downside of dating an outdoorsy man and gear aficionado, right here, folks.)
9. Only stay in touch with high school people if you want to. Don't put an expectation on syourself to associate with people you never liked. One reward of finishing high school is that you essentially never again have to see the people that you disliked. It's pretty awesome to select who from your past you spend time with-- no longer being confined with them against your will from the hours of 7:30 am to 2:10 pm. But then there are those people-- teachers and peers alike, who you really connected with. Fight to keep that connection alive. Saying cliches like "Oh I miss you, let's do lunch soon!" isn't enough. Act on those phrases by really scheduling time to be with old friends. The relationships with them aren't ones that can continue to stay alive with passive effort-- they require active thought and pursuit. However, the extra planning and follow-through is worth it, when you have friendly faces to comfort you through the trials you'll inevitably face. (Yes, spilling hot-chocolate on your crotch while driving to school is a trial.)
10. Endure. College is hard-- people weren't exaggerating when they told you that. The stakes are high, the hours are rough, and the material is obtuse. But they also weren't lying when they told you it was worth it. The personal edification and confidence I've attained from attending a university is unparalleled, and I'm incredibly grateful that I made the decision to attend. A few days before my first semester, I was presented with an opportunity to follow a very different path than the one I'd planned for--this new path was one of travel and adventure and excitement, all in all, an extraordinary opportunity and one that I was seriously contemplating pursuing. Until this point, my going to college was something that I'd always been planning on, the precedent of attendance and graduation having been set by my siblings and encouraged rightly so by my parents. It was an obvious step in my future, the same way going to elementary, junior high, and high school were. There wasn't any other alternative of value until this moment. For the first time ever, I was presented with another choice-- one that was admirable and desirable on many levels, and one that probably would have brought me happiness and self-discovery. However, I obviously chose college, and this is a decision that I haven't regretted at all. I honestly think college provides experiences that are unattainable elsewhere, and I encourage you to pursue it even if the odds are against you, or if something else seems exciting. In all possibility, choosing that other path would have been fine and I would still live a life to be proud of. What my choice came down to wasn't what was 'right' or 'wrong' or expected of me by others. It was what I felt best about. I've found that although it's incredibly challenging, college has provided me with exceptional happiness and guidance, and I'm supremely grateful that I listened to myself and chose this path. So, if you feel that college is right for you, trust in that, and stick with it. Even in the hard times. (Cliche, yeah. Deal with it.)
To conclude, I offer the timeless advice of William Stafford, in his poem, "You Reading This, Be Ready."
You Reading This, Be Ready
Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?
Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now? Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?
When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day. This interval you spent
reading or hearing this, keep it for life –
What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?
William Stafford
Be ready for this next chapter, and live it intentionally. Soak up the flittering freedom, radical discovery, and chiseled memories that this time offers you. For never again, will the now be the now.
Aaaaaand, remember to document it all with A+ selfies like this one, from my first day of college. Wouldn't want to forget my habit of wearing sunglasses indoors, or what the bathroom in my English building looked like!!! (Sarcastic? Not sarcastic? You'll never know.)
