I'm laying in bed right now, reveling in the final hour of Fall Break. I took off my makeup, I brushed and flossed my teeth, and I changed into comfy cotton pajamas. With these prerequisites to comfort taken care of, I can easily reminisce over the past seven days. It's been good to me, Fall Break. I've cherished frivolous sleeping-in, as well as productive project-accomplishing, and I am sorry to see this recess go. However, accompanying my sorrow, I also feel a fluttering excitement at the prospect of what is next. I'm ready and anxious to see what this next stretch of busy life will bring.
I guess I kind of feel like that's the theme of this entire stage of life that I'm currently in. Calling it a dynamic time seems like a gross understatement. It's undeniably scary that for pretty much the first time in my life, the decisions I'm faced with are ones that will affect the remaining course of my existence. But more than being scary, it's gorgeously freeing. I pray for guidance from above, I meditate for answers from within, and then I select the little bauble of life, the decision, that has a vibe I feel most connected with. I'm a vibe-y person through and through-- I believe that objects, people, and experiences have vibes. I trust in my instinct to select those vibes, and so far I haven't regretted doing so. And so that's my current method, after various methods of pondering, I kind of frenziedly select which fork in the road I'll take next, on the twisting path that we call life. (Cliche enough for you?) At times I come to a screeching halt, and I wonder, "Am I making the right decisions? Am I taking the right fork in the road? What if I'm choosing all the wrong things, and steering myself in the completely wrong direction? WHAT IF? WHAT IF? WHAT IF?" But then a peace comes to me. I remember that I receive Godly inspiration as to what His will is for my life, that I possess a divine intuition as to what my purpose on this Earth is, and that ultimately, whatever I choose will lead to a beautiful adventure, and that whatever I do with my life, it's sure to be big.
And so, after harkening to this mantra, in both mind and heart, I can rest and momentarily cease from quaking worry that is so typical to being 18 years old and undefined. I stop pondering the great galaxies and meaning of this existence and answers to all eternities, and I instead enjoy some Red Hot Chili Peppers, buy the leopard-print Steve Madden bag that I've so coveted for the past four months, and watch You've Got Mail for the 50,000th time. A constant ebb and flow of the perplexing wondering, and the sedated enjoying, this is life. And isn't it beautiful?
